Addressing Wedding Invitations The Etiquette

When it comes addressing wedding invitations, the socially correct wording is a bit of minefield, however if you've chosen to go for traditional invitations, then you'll want the wording to be just right.

These days, most people use a more informal manner of addressing wedding invitations in reflection of their own style, which is absolutely fine in these modern times. Choose to use what you feel is appropriate although be mindful that older guests and relatives may expect something a little more formal out of respect.

Traditionally, double envelopes were used. The outer envelope had the house address on it and was usually written to the master of the house or the person most well known. The outer envelope was used to protect the inner envelope and invitation from rain or damage in the post. The inner envelope was then addressed to those invited to the occasion.

Today, it’s rare that you see double envelopes. Instead, you usually see only one with the invitees printed on to the invite or hand written in the upper left corner of the invite. Even more informal still is just writing the invitees on the envelope, although some of the older generations may not understand exactly who is invited!

Whichever you choose, it’s still important to get the formalities of people’s titles and names correct. It’s only polite and you reduce the risk of insult! So below is a table to help you decide what’s correct for your invites.

The information on addressing wedding invitations below assumes that you’re only using one envelope with the invitees written on the invite. Don’t forget, if you’re doing it this way, you should write the names in the top left hand corner of the invite, ideally using a fountain pen.

Addressing wedding invitations - a table to guide you

Written on the invitation	Written on the envelope	Explanation
Mr and Mrs Stuart Ray	Mr Stuart Ray	For a married couple where both are well known. The children's names are not included, therefore they're not invited.
Mr and Mrs Stuart Ray, Sally and John	Mrs Stuart Ray	Married couple with children invited, where the wife is well known e.g. a female colleague.
Mr and Mrs Stuart Ray	Mr Stuart Ray	Married couple where only the husband is well known.
Dr and Mrs Stuart Ray	Mrs Stuart Ray	Stuart Ray is a doctor. His wife is addressed as Mrs, even if she is also a medical doctor. Other forms of doctor are not included (i.e. dentist, psychologist, etc).
Mr Stuart Ray	Stuart Ray Esq.	Single man.
Miss Sandra Jones	Miss Sandra Jones	Single woman.
Mrs Stuart Ray	Mrs Stuart Ray	Widowed woman.
Mrs Rebecca Ray	Mrs Rebecca Ray	Divorced woman still using her married surname.
Miss Sandra Jones and Mr. Simon Jenkins	Miss Sandra Jones and Mr. Simon Jenkins Esq.	Unmarried couple in an established relationship.
Mr William Smith and Mr. Freddie Jones	William Smith Esq. and Freddie Jones Esq.	Same sex partnership in an established relationship.
Mr Simon Jenkins and Miss Sandra Jones	Simon Jenkins Esq.	Single man and guest where the guest is not well known.
Miss Sandra Jones and Mr. Simon Jenkins	Miss Sandra Jones	Single woman and guest where the guest is not well known.
Reverend and Mrs John Whithers	The Reverend John Whithers	Church of England vicar where the wife is not well known.
Father Wicker	The Reverend Father Wicker	Roman Catholic priest.

It’s really important when you’re addressing wedding invitations not to use the words ‘and guest’. If possible, try and find out the name of guests coming. It’s nicer for the guest and it’s much better for you. As host, it’s essential that you know everyone who is attending your occasion. (It’ll also prevent embarrassing moments on the day).

Ideally, the invites (or inner envelopes) should be hand written, but if your writing isn’t up to scratch, you can always hire a calligrapher or ask someone with neat writing.

For the envelopes, writing out the addresses can be a bit of laborious task. To make it easy, you could print them out directly onto the envelope or on to stickers. Try to match the sticker colour to the colour of the envelope, use an elegant script font and to jazz up the envelope why not include your monogram, motif or a wax seal?

Traditional Wedding Invitation Wording Examples
Modern Wedding Invitation Wording Examples
Free Wedding Invitation Templates For Inserts
Wedding Invitation Fonts

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Addressing Wedding Invitations The Etiquette

Addressing wedding invitations - a table to guide you

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